January 30, 2021
Dining wasn't so simple in the 19th century
Believe it or not, a woman in the early 1800s could not waltz into a restaurant by herself or with her gal pals, and order lunch, like the ladies shown in this colorized photograph of yesteryear. That would have been such scandalous behavior that the woman’s reputation would have been forever tarnished. In those days, only women of ill-repute would be so bold as to enter a restaurant without a man to serve as her escort.
This colorized photo looks like it was taken today (or in the very recent past). In reality, it was taken shortly after women were finally allowed to dine by themselves. Today, we take it for granted that anyone is just able to pop into a restaurant and grab a bite to eat. It's a normal, ho-hum activity. But in the 19th century, sitting down to eat was not only more of a dress up affair, but it was extremely politicized.
Most likely, a lone woman or group of women just like these ladies in this colorized pic would have been denied service by the restaurant owner. He -- of course, he was most likely a man -- couldn’t afford to have unchaperoned ladies in his eatery. This would ruin his reputation as well. Women get hungry, though, even when we are unescorted. The solution was to create ladies-only eateries called Ladies Ordinaries.
Restaurants, A Scary Place for Women
Women in the early 19th century were quite oppressed, but it was "for their own good." In the patriarchal society, women were taught that they should not go out of the home without a male chaperone, be it her father, husband, or brother. The reason for this was the common belief that women needed to be protected from men who may lose control at the sight of an unescorted lady and accost her. It was safer, ladies were told, to stay in the company of a trusted male family member. A woman attempting to dine in a restaurant alone, it was thought, would be so harassed and molested by the male diners that her virtue would be in jeopardy. Generations of women grew up believing this.
Women of Questionable Morals
Over 200 years ago, most restaurants were located in hotels. In those days, no one dined out just for the dining out experience. Restaurants catered to travelers, so it only made sense for hotel owners to also run restaurants. The only women that frequented hotels – and by extension, restaurants – during those days were working girls. And they weren’t busing tables. In these male-centric gathering places, prostitutes had a good chance of finding paying customers. Men soon understood that if a woman was in a hotel restaurant, especially by herself, she must be a woman of questionable morals, a woman working in the oldest profession. Most legitimate business owners didn’t want to be associated with prostitution because it was damaging to their reputations. A lone woman or a group of women would have been turned away at a restaurant and denied a table.
Filling a Need
By the 1830s, women were slowly gaining some more liberties. More and more respectable ladies were traveling on their own or with another woman as her companion. Likewise, some ladies journeyed to nearby towns to shop, attend a speech or lecture, or go to a church event. When they were out about town, these ladies needed sustenance. It wasn’t always practical to bring a sack lunch. Women began to demand a place to purchase a hot meal. Business owners, sensing an untapped market, opened Ladies Ordinaries, ladies-only dining establishments.
The First Ladies Ordinaries
By all accounts, the first Ladies Ordinary was located in the Tremont House, a hotel in Boston. This was a special room within the hotel where women could dine in privacy. It was not called a Ladies Ordinary, however. The first establishment to bear the Ladies Ordinary moniker was Clinton Lunch. This eatery opened on November 2, 1833 in New York City. News articles of the time state that the Clinton Lunch provided a place for respectable ladies and their invited guests, as well as well-to-do women with their children, could take their meals in a socially acceptable location. In the wake of the success of Clinton Lunch, more Ladies Ordinaries popped up in cities around the East Coast.
Ladies Ordinaries, Not a Hit with Men
Ladies Ordinaries were a welcomed innovation for proper ladies. It filled a need and solved a problem for women spending time in the city, away from her home. For men, however, the introduction of Ladies Ordinaries stifled the male patriarchy, and therefore their control. Men scoffed at women’s-only dining establishments, calling them a “sad” reflection on society. Many men were unwilling to concede that women had the right to spend time in public without a chaperone.
Dining Options for Proper Ladies
Despite the resistance from many men, Ladies Ordinaries were so popular in major U.S. cities that guide books were sold listing Ladies Ordinaries and socially acceptable restaurants so women traveling to other cities knew where they could eat. In most cases, the Ladies Ordinary was not a stand-alone establishment, but an offshoot of an existing restaurant. It could be that the restaurant had a separate entrance for women or had an upstairs, ladies-only dining area. There may even be a private room in the restaurant for female diners. Ladies Ordinaries were small when compared to the main dining room.
A Ladies Menu
Restaurant proprietors took steps to appeal to their female diners. Today, we look at some of these ideas and cringe at how misogynistic they are, but at the time, restaurant owners thought they were being wise businessmen. For example, the menus lacked the hearty, meat and potatoes meals that men enjoyed. Instead, they offered lighter fare, like salads, sandwiches, and soup, all served with tea or lemonade, never alcoholic beverages. Restaurateurs played into the stereotype that women like chocolates and sweets by adding a wide selection of desserts to their offerings. Ice cream, pies, chocolate candies, and cakes were common fare.
Putting an End to Restaurant Sexism
Ladies Ordinaries became so commonplace throughout the 1800s that no one batted an eye at the sexism that was being displayed. Women were finally granted the right to vote in 1920 and after that, women claimed more freedoms and liberties then their mothers and grandmothers had. Women sought employment out of the home, lived alone or with other female roommates, and enjoyed drinking and dancing. The times were changing and, once again, restaurants had to adapt to societal changes. Most restaurants opened their doors to women and allowed lone females or groups of ladies to dine freely in the main dining rooms, like this group of friends shown in this colorized picture. Sexism for restaurant patrons didn’t end there. Most fine-dining restaurants continued to offer “ladies’ menus” – a menu that didn’t list prices – through the 1980s. The attitude was that women were guests of their male companions and therefore wouldn’t be paying for their own meals. Attorney and women’s rights activist, Gloria Allred, ended the practice of “ladies’ menus” when she was given one at a fancy restaurant. She had invited clients to lunch and, of course, intended to pay, but the wait staff made assumptions based on her gender. The restaurant didn’t know who they were messing with.